Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
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