Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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