This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Randomize
