Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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