Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
