We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
