Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
