It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
What a dumb baby whore.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
