He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
