So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Randomize
