well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
