please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
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