Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
