He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
