dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
