In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I intend to get homeless drunk
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
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