i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
