I would go down on you faster than GM stock
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Randomize
