D3 body, D1 cock
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
