this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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