Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Randomize
