why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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