I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize
