went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
