There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
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