coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
My penis needs a shock collar
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
