It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
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