Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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