My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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