John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
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