All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
