dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
