someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
