I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
