you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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