I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
