just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
They have beer where we have blood.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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