...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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