My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
