She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Randomize
