He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Come share oat with me in your robe
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
