she woke up with a sticky ear
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
