I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
