Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
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