Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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