Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
