You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
