doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
