She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Randomize
