May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
