Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
