she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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